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Recipes.Rants.Reviews

Cookie Monday…Charlie Sheen Shortbread

on March 7, 2011

This Friday I am cooking for a Fundraising Auction being held at a fancy art gallery. There is a nautical theme, so I am keeping the menu very light and tropical to tie in with the theme. I plan on photographing and blogging all about the experience, so look out for that next week.

One of the desserts I had planned on serving was a shortbread cookie with a passion fruit glaze. I wanted to find a shortbread recipe that had few ingredients and was easy to multiply. Over on allrecipes.com I found this one. Seemed simple enough and got really nice reviews so on this Cookie Monday, I gave it a try.

Now some recipes go great, like Hot Shots or Major League and some go good like the occasional episode of Two and a Half Men. Rarely does a recipe flame out so hard like this shortbread recipe. This is the opposite of ‘Winning’.

Ingredients

1 lb. Butter

1/2 Cup Powdered Sugar

1/3 Cup Cornstarch

1 1/2 Cups Flour

 

Whip the butter until it is light and fluffy, add the dry ingredients, mix on low to incorporate then mix on med/high for 2 to 3 minutes. Place by spoonfuls on un-greased cookie sheet.

 

 

After whipping this much butter for a cookie recipe what could possibly go wrong, turns out everything. This recipe is like Charlie Sheen’s Mercedes, it looks good in the bowl but eventually its gonna get driven over a cliff. After wrestling this insanely sticky dough on to a cookie sheet it went in to a 350 oven for 9 minutes, until the edges just started to turn brown.

I turned the oven light on at 5 minutes just to take a look and there were no longer cookies on the sheet, just puddles of bubbling goo, a lot like something you would see hanging with Charlie Sheen. I gave them a second chance and hoped the next 4 minutes in the oven would transform them into shortbread greatness, no such luck.

 

I guess second chances only redeem strung out millionaire TV stars, and not shortbread cookies. As you can see above, these were just a mess. I let them cool and couldn’t even get them off the sheet in one piece. I may however have invented some new type of matter as these held there shape while maintaing both a liquid and solid state.

So as you can see this edition of Cookie Monday was an Epic Fail. However I still need a shortbread recipe that works, so if anyone out there has one, please let me know.

In the words of Charlie Sheen..”I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That’s how I describe myself.”

A lot like these cookies, the boogers of a 7 year old!

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One response to “Cookie Monday…Charlie Sheen Shortbread

  1. Thindulge says:

    That was hysterical and so clever!

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